Dating abroad vs dating at home

Words and photos by Gianna Messia, who studied abroad with ASA in Florence, Italy, during the fall semester of 2024. 

Dating is complicated enough already. Now add passports, cultural differences, and time zones into the mix, and things get interesting, let me tell you. Whether you’ve dated your whole life in one place or found yourself swiping while living overseas, dating abroad and dating at home can feel like two completely different worlds. I can tell you, they definitely come with different vibes, and you may be curious what it’s like. Let’s break it down.

Dating at home is comfortable, and you most likely know the ins and outs. You know the rules. Even the unspoken ones. You understand how people flirt, what “let’s hang out” means, and when things are getting serious. There’s less second-guessing. Dating abroad? You’re in adventure mode. Suddenly, you’re wondering: Was that a date or just coffee? Are they being polite or actually interested? Dating in places like France or Italy can be exciting, but also confusing. Cultural differences affect everything, maybe how people show interest, how fast relationships move, and what commitment even looks like. It keeps things exciting, but it can also keep you on your toes.

A story I will never forget. During my time studying abroad in Italy, I decided to hop on a dating app for the first time in my entire life. There were dinner dates and casual conversations, but nothing would’ve prepared me for this. Between school, travel, and trying to soak up every second of a new country, I barely had time to breathe—let alone go on dates. I matched with someone, we messaged, laughed, and promised we’d meet “soon.” Soon never came. My program ended, I flew home, and I assumed that would be the end of it. But it wasn’t. We stayed in touch. Casual messages turned into longer conversations, voice notes, and check-ins that somehow slipped into my everyday routine. His program ran longer than mine, and instead of letting things fade, he did something wildly brave. He booked a flight to the United States to visit me and to experience the U.S. for the very first time. What my family didn’t know was that when I picked him up at the airport, it was the first time we had ever met in person. No quick coffee date. No awkward first meetup. Just two strangers who somehow didn’t feel like strangers at all, standing in arrivals with two weeks ahead of us. We live almost as far apart as two people can—Boston, Massachusetts and Sydney, Australia. Yet during those two weeks, the distance disappeared. The chemistry was easy, natural, and undeniable. Still, reality mattered. The miles were too many, the lives too separate, so we kept things light and casual. We shared an amazing connection, and we still stay in touch.

Dating abroad can get complicated fast. Even strong connections have to deal with questions like: Who’s moving? Can we legally stay together? What happens when someone’s visa runs out? Serious conversations and questions can come up way earlier than they would at home. Dating at home offers comfort, clarity, and stability. Dating abroad offers growth, perspective, and unforgettable stories. The key isn’t where you date, but how you date. Staying curious, open-minded, and honest goes a long way whether you’re meeting someone five minutes from home or halfway across the world. Love can happen anywhere, but the way you approach it makes all the difference.

Thanks, Gianna!