A Story of Unexpected Strength: Studying Abroad with a Chronic Illness

Words and photos by ASA alum, Kris L’Heureux.

Going abroad to Verona, Italy, was one of the best and most difficult decisions of my life. I’d never traveled outside the US and Canada, and I’d never been on an airplane before. I really didn’t think it would be possible, but ASA and my university (Fitchburg State) made it happen. I had no clue what I was getting myself into, but I would do it a hundred more times if I could.

It all started with my first steps in Verona. I had the pleasure of going to Chiesa Rettoriale Santa Maria Antica, a beautiful Catholic church, after our very lovely welcome dinner, which was right across from the restaurant. This very short walk from the restaurant was going to be one of the most life-changing things I’ve ever experienced.

Saint Rita of Cascia, Italy—the patron saint of impossible and hopeless circumstances—is one I prayed to before my trip, due to health conditions that frequently occur to me while traveling. Panic attacks were not uncommon, and could last hours. Once it starts, nothing is able to help me besides time. My health has gotten in the way of a lot of things in my life. As I mentioned, this was my first time even going on an airplane, which was so terrifying considering half the time I would get severe pain or illness from a simple car trip. I thought it was going to be impossible to get on a long flight and be okay. My mom heard my concerns, and suggested I pray to Saint Rita, since it feels so “impossible”, and my mom, herself, has overcome hopelessness in “impossible” situations in her past. My mom actually wanted to name me after her.

Not even thinking twice about it, I walked to the church, and realized it was packed due to a festival of roses. It was May 22nd. Saint Rita’s feast day. A feast day for a saint happens only once a year, like a birthday. I had no idea until I stepped foot inside and saw her statues and pictures. Everyone brought roses to be blessed, since there is a popular story of her and a rose. I couldn’t help but start sobbing. A relic of hers, a piece of her bone, blessed the crowd during the liturgy. I felt her presence there, I felt like she did all this so I could be with her on her day of celebration. A part of her was truly right there in front of me. I knew at that moment, I was meant to be here. I still get shaky when talking about this moment. I even shake as I type this, because putting those feelings into words is almost indescribable. The feeling of knowing you belong somewhere without a doubt.

Our tour guide also was volunteering at the church for the celebration. She noticed I was there and that made me feel safe too. After that night, I told her my story and how all these pieces came together, and we’ve bonded ever since.

I walked home alone that night, something I don’t even do in my hometown (Worcester, MA). It was so beautiful and peaceful, something I could’ve never imagined. When I got back to my room, I was a little sad that I did not know soon enough to bring a rose with me. Then, I realized, I was wearing my rose designed rosary that my boyfriend bought for me on our way to Boston, before getting on the plane. I had roses on me the whole time and didn’t even think about it.

For the first time in my life, I was able to go on a plane. Not just get on a plane, but several planes and a bus, with zero symptoms of anxiety, panic, or something else. I felt so emotional because I knew that day that I was being blessed. It really felt like a miracle, because I know myself and what could’ve likely happened. Even on the bus to Verona from Milan, I felt like tearing up because I couldn’t believe that I actually made it. I’ve never had so much strength to do something like this before, and all I could think about was how grateful I was. Instead, I ended up with a bloody nose on the bus, which was really funny because I was so peaceful then all of the sudden my nose just started leaking– and I am on a bus with about 15 other students who I am not familiar with, and are also all sleeping. I thankfully had some tissues on me, but it’s such a funny solo story to me. No one even knew it happened until I mentioned it later.

While in Verona, I got a tattoo of Saint Rita so that memory will always be with me. Every time I see it, I think about that night, as well as the entire month of joy I experienced the rest of the trip. It was more than I could ever have asked for. If day one sounded eventful, imagine another several weeks. I never thought it would be possible.

As someone with chronic illness, a history of traveling flare ups, low income, and never been on a plane before, I somehow made the decision to go abroad, and made it. I can’t imagine it if I didn’t do this trip, it is really worth it. I’m even planning my third study abroad now. I hear a lot of people tell me, “oh I wish I did study abroad while in school!”, so please, if you can, don’t become one to say that. If you have the opportunity, don’t be scared, because it’ll give you experiences and memories that will last a lifetime.

Thanks Kris!